SAN DIEGO – President Trump’s proposed wall on the US border with Mexico is moving forward, and US Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has employed the services of the Big Bad Wolf to help test the capability and durability of various prototypes.
Despite political gridlock on the decision to build a wall, and regardless of whether or not Congress will approve the funding for construction, plans are moving forward.
Many construction companies, vying for the contract, have submitted twelve-foot segments for government evaluation, and Border Patrol agents confirmed the Big Bad Wolf has been flown in from fictional 19th century England for the testing.
“Mr. Wolf’s long record of arson, rape, murder, and general mischief makes him a perfect test subject. If he can’t penetrate the Wall, no Mexican can.” said acting ICE Director Thomas Homan.
The ICE Director was confident the Big Bad Wolf would not be able to huff, and puff, and blow down every single wall.
“We had some great tests today. Mr. Wolf huffed, and he puffed, and he blew down Walls 2, 4, and 7.”
The Big Bad Wolf was reported to be trying other methods to penetrate the walls, such as climbing and looking for chimneys.
Meanwhile, protesters surrounded the demonstration area outside San Diego suburbs.
“This is horrible!” screamed Carmen West, a University of San Diego sophomore, in the demonstrations. “Any company CEO participating in this travesty is a PIG!”
James Halliwell-Phillipps contributed to this report. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org