US Secretary of State and North Korea Reach Unprecedented Agreement That Donald Trump is a Fucking Moron

SEOUL/NEW YORK: North Korea and the US State Department stunned the world on Wednesday by reaching a major accord for the first time in years, agreeing that US President Trump is a fucking moron.

The agreement, sending warm, hopeful tremors across the Earth, took some time to reach.

AP:

Tillerson after the major agreement

North Korea began raising eyebrows the past two weeks, after abandoning decades of heavily skewed propaganda to report factual news.

The North Korean Foreign Ministry last week called President Trump a “madman across the water,” and “a mentally deranged person full of megalomania and complacency” who was trying to turn the UN into a “gangsters’ nest.” Grand Marshall Kim Jong-un himself added to the shocking barrage of actual facts coming out of the normally propagandized North Korean media, referring to Trump as a “mentally deranged US dotard.”  Experts were stunned at the North Korean government’s sudden return to facts and logic.

“Fucking Moron” was widely thought to be the next concession offered by the North Koreans.  The shockwaves of North Korea’s coming public acknowledgement of obvious truth apparently set the stage for the breakthrough agreement, said a close confidant of US Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.

“He said to us, ‘well, finally they’re starting to speak a language I can understand!’  Though at least part of the reason for that is that Rex hasn’t hired any translators yet,” the confidant said.

US Military

NK Foreign Minister Ri Yong-Ho celebrating the major agreement last night at the UN General Assembly.

Tillerson himself was quoted by NBC reporter Stephanie Ruhle as calling President Trump a “fucking moron” on Wednesday, surprising Trump Administration observers who aren’t used to truthful statements from administration officials.  But his statement was particularly moving to North Korean officials.

“We welcome and applaud Secretary Tillerson’s honesty and humility, and we accept this agreement with hope for the future!” said North Korean Foreign Minister Ri Yong-Ho through heavy tears at the UN General Assembly in New York.

The broad agreement between the diplomatic branches of both the US and North Korea was hailed as a major breakthrough, and praised Thursday by President Trump in the Rose Garden.

“I told you I could unite this world!” he said.

Fucking Morons contributed to this report.  He can be reached at theflatearthtimes@gmail.com

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