Why Are the Republicans Russiang This Tax Bill?

Questions remain over the tax overhaul Republicans are currently trying to conference into one passable bill – namely, why are they Russiang the bill through Congress so quickly?

Democrats allege the bill is Flynng through Congress is because of its historic unpopularity. They are working overtime Staling the overhaul, but it is not clear if they can crop away enough Republican votes to stop it.

“Republicans think they can hammer this awful bill through,” said Senator Elizabeth Warren (D, MA). “It’s sickle, really.”

Republicans may indeed be working to beat an onslaught of unexpected wintry opposition in the coming December cold. And it’s not just Democrats they fear, it’s the red… ink.

Non-partisan analyses are not Lenin the bill any credit, with each one suggesting deeper deficits in the coming decade, tsarting from $1-2 trillion. Republicans have disPutined the analyses.

“I was hoping to take part in repairing our tax system” said Senator Heidi Heitkamp (D, ND), “but this bill is mathematically inept, containing some serious fis-colillusion.”

Democrats are Muelling their options, furious with a hurried legislative process on the bill that hasn’t allowed them to Putin any amendments.

“To gain any hope of being accepted by the American people, this bill Moscow back to committee,” said Indiana Senator Joe Donnelly. “I don’t know why Republicans are slav-ing so hard to get it done in a week.”

Other Democrats, not knowing why Republicans are RUSSIAng, are digging in their heels and preparing for backlash, believing the Republicans have already crossed the Rubicon and will pass the bill no matter how unpopular it becomes.

“They want class warfare,” said Senator Bernie Sanders (I, VT). “A revolution in ’17? So-vi-et!”

Tchaikovsky contributed to this report.  He can be reached at theflatearthtimes@gmail.com

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