Flat Earth Times News Desk

Flat Earth Times News Desk November 23, 2017

SAN DIEGO – President Trump’s proposed wall on the US border with Mexico is moving forward, and US Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) has employed the services of the Big Bad Wolf to help test the capability and durability of various prototypes. Despite political gridlock on the decision to build a wall, and regardless of […]

Flat Earth Times News Desk November 20, 2017

WASHINGTON – The Republicans’ tax overhaul plan was accused this weekend of sexual assault by several different women, the culmination of a growing wave of sexual assault revelations in both Hollywood and Washington. “This bill left me feeling dead, broke, and worthless,” said Juiz Desgurl, a congressional assistant, in a press conference Sunday, who vividly […]

Flat Earth Times News Desk November 9, 2017

RICHMOND – Republican voters in New Jersey and Virginia sent thoughts and prayers (#ThoughtsAndPrayers) to their voting precincts on Tuesday, hoping to hold off a wave of Democrats eager to send a message to President Trump and Republicans nationwide. “We knew this would be a tough election, so we wanted to get our #ThoughtsAndPrayers out […]

Flat Earth Times News Desk October 24, 2017

WASHINGTON – The Trump Administration is coming down hard on Democrats and journalists whom they accuse of politicizing US soldiers killed in combat, something they insist has not been acceptable since 2016. “It is unacceptable to use our nation’s fallen heroes as political footballs in 2017,” insisted White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. “The […]