Property of the Flat Earth Times

Scott Pruitt Builds Taxpayer-funded Personal Halo to Escape Runaway Climate Change

OUTER SPACE – Administrator Scott Pruitt has ordered the Environmental Protection Agency to build him an entire Halo Array, with which he could escape the environmentally crumbling planet, an investigation has discovered. The embattled Trump-appointed director of the EPA has come under severe pressure and scrutiny over the past few weeks, after reporters discovered he […]

Report: Boston’s Frozen Floods Part of Deal with Satan for Tom Brady

BOSTON: A new report suggests that Winter Storm Grayson, which blanketed the East coast and flooded much of Boston in a surge of seawater, was likely the result of a deal between Bob Kraft, owner of The New England Patriots professional football team, and the devil himself. “This was Satan attempting to collect on his […]