Trump Offers Barron, Eric to Kim Jong-un in Ongoing Negotiations
WASHINGTON – President Trump has offered his son Barron to Kim Jong-un, dictator of North Korea, in the latest round of negotiations with the reclusive state over its nuclear arsenal. […]
- Countinue Reading
- No Comments
MUELLER MADNESS! Stormy Daniels Continues Cinderella Run
Stormy Daniels on Cinderella Run to End Trump Dynasty Stormy Daniels has continued her unprecedented march toward ending the presidency of Donald J. Trump, as the 14th seed rides toward […]
- Countinue Reading
- No Comments
Guy Who Slaved His Entire Life Complains About Cool Guy Partying With Hookers, Hated by Entire Nation
WASHINGTON – James Comey, former director of the FBI, was seen Sunday night living in his own nightmare. The long-time public servant worked hard his entire life. He always did […]
- Countinue Reading
- No Comments
Paul Ryan Retiring to Spend More Time With His Chilling Shame
MILWUAKEE – Speaker of the House Paul Ryan announced he would retire after his term ends in 2019, in a speech on Wednesday. The 48-year-old Republican now wishes to spend […]
- Countinue Reading
- No Comments
Scott Pruitt Builds Taxpayer-funded Personal Halo to Escape Runaway Climate Change
OUTER SPACE – Administrator Scott Pruitt has ordered the Environmental Protection Agency to build him an entire Halo Array, with which he could escape the environmentally crumbling planet, an investigation […]
- Countinue Reading
- No Comments
As Trade War Ravages Wall Street, Trump Desperately Takes Dump on South Lawn
WASHINGTON – President Trump, eager to avoid or win a trade war he began with China, this morning took the unusual step of having a bowel movement on the South […]
- Countinue Reading
- No Comments
Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio Enjoy Organized Playdate
MIAMI – Former Florida governor Jeb Bush and current Florida Senator Marco Rubio enjoyed a festive Easter playdate yesterday. Organized by the men’s respective mothers, the two failed 2016 presidential […]
- Countinue Reading
- No Comments
Jeb Bush Beats Up Local Bully
MIAMI – Jeb Bush had to be pulled off of a 12-year-old boy yesterday, having beaten the young child beyond submission in a counter-bullying incident. “AT-LEAST-MY-CHILDREN-LOVE-ME!” screamed the former Governor […]
- Countinue Reading
- 1 Comment
NRA Pledges to Move to 100% Recycled Ideas by 2020
FAIRFAX – The NRA announced on Monday that they will be moving forward with plans to use 100% recycled ideas by 2020. The unprecedented step comes two days after the […]
- Countinue Reading
- No Comments
Local Man Plans Several Angry Internet Comments if Trump Fires Mueller
NASHVILLE – Gerald Hansley, a CVS clerk in Nashville, declared today he would angrily post comments on several social media sites if President Trump moves to shut down the Russia […]
- Countinue Reading
- No Comments