Property of the Flat Earth Times

Jeb Bush Successfully Corrects Order at Pancake House

MIAMI – Jeb Bush overcame some terrific inner demons today when he challenged a restaurant server to fix a mistaken order at a local pancake restaurant. “What? Who?” asked a server at King Kanpakes when questioned later about the incident. “Oh the Trump guy? Yeah he wasn’t into blueberries.” The incident came about when the […]

Jeb Bush to Emerge from Bedroom for First Time in Two Years

MIAMI – Jeb Bush, former Governor of Florida, announced yesterday that he would be leaving his bedroom for the first time since quitting the 2016 presidential race two years ago. After embarrassing losses in the Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina primaries in early 2016, the son and brother of former presidents faced the daunting […]