Doug Jones

williamwallace December 13, 2017

WASHINGTON – It wasn’t just Democrats reveling a shocking upset victory last night, as Democrat Doug Jones defeated Republican Roy Moore to become Alabama’s next Senator. Teenagers across Washington, D.C. took to the streets to celebrate that accused child-molester Roy Moore would not be coming to the city. “Where are we going?” shouted 15-year-old Bryce […]

Flat Earth Times News Desk December 12, 2017

BIRMINGHAM – Scientists and religious experts today discovered a magical curse that appears to prevent Republican politicians from endorsing Democrats in American elections. “This was an extraordinary discovery of deductive reasoning,” said Dr. Neil Gordon, an anthropologist at the University of Alabama who helped lead the discovery. His team used test subjects, a Ouija board, […]