Property of the Flat Earth Times

Jeb Bush Beats Up Local Bully

MIAMI – Jeb Bush had to be pulled off of a 12-year-old boy yesterday, having beaten the young child beyond submission in a counter-bullying incident. “AT-LEAST-MY-CHILDREN-LOVE-ME!” screamed the former Governor of Florida, his eyes full of rage as he delivered pounding blows onto the young boy. Apparently the young child, Ronnie Wonnup, had a history […]

Property of the Flat Earth Times

Jeb Bush Successfully Corrects Order at Pancake House

MIAMI – Jeb Bush overcame some terrific inner demons today when he challenged a restaurant server to fix a mistaken order at a local pancake restaurant. “What? Who?” asked a server at King Kanpakes when questioned later about the incident. “Oh the Trump guy? Yeah he wasn’t into blueberries.” The incident came about when the […]