Martin O’Malley

thirstyturtletimes November 6, 2012

DO NOT PUBLISH UNTIL REVIEWED AND EDITED BY EDITOR-IN-CHIEF!!! NOTE TO MANAGING EDITOR: E.I.C. is MIA. Please edit by crossing out appropriate words and phrases. I will now click the “Save Draft” button, which is perilously close to the “Publish Now” button. Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!!! – Doc Historic 2012 Election Concludes with Narrow Obama/Romney […]

thirstyturtletimes June 13, 2012

BEIJING – University of Maryland President Wallace D. Loh has been internationally rebuked for his current trip to the Republic of China, better known as Taiwan. Dr. Loh left for Taiwan this past Saturday as part of a University of Maryland delegation. Right off the bat, students voiced their discontent. “What’s he going to Taiwan for […]

thirstyturtletimes September 7, 2011

COLLEGE PARK – Fresh from a $30,000 grant from Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley’s office to combat underage drinking, the University of Maryland Police Department announced today that it has been authorized to open fire on all minors suspected to be in possession of alcohol. Orders are shoot to kill, on sight. Authorization was granted last […]