Jeb Bush to Emerge from Bedroom for First Time in Two Years

MIAMI – Jeb Bush, former Governor of Florida, announced yesterday that he would be leaving his bedroom for the first time since quitting the 2016 presidential race two years ago. After embarrassing losses in the Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina primaries in early 2016, the son and brother of former presidents faced the daunting […]

Roger Stone Furiously 3D-Printing Sexual Assault Victims For Democrats

MIAMI – Long-time Republican political consultant Roger Stone is aggressively assembling an army of sexual assault victims to take down various Democratic politicians. “This is Gina,” said Stone, demonstrating the latest model off his press, a T12000 with full conversational skills and gropeable body parts. “And Chuck Schumer touched her ‘gina.” Stone is believed to […]