Philadelphians Suddenly Not Terrible People Anymore

PHILADELPHIA – After decades of frightening reports, violent tailgates, and rambunctious viral videos, Philadelphia’s iconic and obnoxious sports fans suddenly and unexpectedly became kind, gracious, professional, intellectual ladies and gentlemen Sunday night, following their Eagles’ first Super Bowl championship over the New England Patriots. Long known for crumbling sports shortcomings and subsequently vile, obnoxious fans […]

Report: Boston’s Frozen Floods Part of Deal with Satan for Tom Brady

BOSTON: A new report suggests that Winter Storm Grayson, which blanketed the East coast and flooded much of Boston in a surge of seawater, was likely the result of a deal between Bob Kraft, owner of The New England Patriots professional football team, and the devil himself. “This was Satan attempting to collect on his […]