Freed Americans See President Trump, Ask to Return to North Korea

JOINT BASE ANDREWS, Md. – Three Americans were freed from North Korean imprisonment yesterday, but after being greeted by President Trump, the horrified men asked to be allowed back into the reclusive regime’s labor camps. Kim Dong-chul, Tony Kim and Kim Hak-son, three Americans, were imprisoned in North Korea following allegations by the reclusive state […]

World Confused as Korean War Ends

Confusion spread across the globe this past weekend as warming relations engulfed North and South Korea, bringing about an end to the Korean War. “What’s happening?!” shrieked Donna Dominica, a waitress in Santa Fe, to no one in particular. North Korea and South Korea’s leaders met face to face this past weekend, shook hands, and […]

Swiss Start Slow Clap as Team Korea Blown Out Yet Again

♪ “Taste the kimchi, taste the rice! Team Korea, here unites!” ♪ PYEONGCHANG – The united women’s hockey team of North and South Korea was treated to a deeply-sought slow-clap at the 2018 Winter Olympic games in Korea on Wednesday. After losing two straight games 8-0 to Sweden and Switzerland, Team Korea arrived for their final match […]

Switzerland Ruins Korean Peace Effort

♪ Some people, you know they can’t believe! ♬ Korea has a unified ho-ckey team! ♪ PYEONGCHANG – Team Korea’s team could be heard singing this tune as they marched onto the ice Saturday at the Olympic games in PyeongChang, South Korea. Fans were screaming themselves hoarse, joyous and proud to see a united Korean […]

US Secretary of State and North Korea Reach Unprecedented Agreement That Donald Trump is a Fucking Moron

SEOUL/NEW YORK: North Korea and the US State Department stunned the world on Wednesday by reaching a major accord for the first time in years, agreeing that US President Trump is a fucking moron. The agreement, sending warm, hopeful tremors across the Earth, took some time to reach. North Korea began raising eyebrows the past […]

University President Makes Surprise North Korea Visit During Trip to Asia

University of Maryland President Wallace Loh returned last week from what he termed a “very productive” trip to the Asian continent. President Loh left for China alongside a Maryland delegation, which included Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley, the latter of whom declared the trip’s one purpose to be “jobs.” He would soon be sidetracked.