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Local Woman Impressed with President Trump for not Defecating Pants During SOTU

RALEIGH – A local suburban mother of three was very impressed with President Trump’s State of the Union Address last night, highlighting his successful effort to hold his bowels as he stood before both houses of Congress.

“He just showed so much restraint and maturity,” said Karen Mourmont, a housewife from Cornelius, North Carolina, seated with friends and family, as the others nodded in agreement. “He didn’t throw poop at Nancy Pelosi once!”

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