Hillary Clinton Spotted Wearing Oprah Costume

NEW YORK: Former US Secretary of State and 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton was spotted putting on an Oprah Winfrey bodysuit in an abandoned warehouse in Brooklyn yesterday morning. Ms. Winfrey has recently been speculated as a potential 2020 challenger in the Democratic primary races for President. Hillary Clinton has expressed she doesn’t want […]

Senate Tax Cut Plan Accused of Sexual Assault

WASHINGTON – The Republicans’ tax overhaul plan was accused this weekend of sexual assault by several different women, the culmination of a growing wave of sexual assault revelations in both Hollywood and Washington. “This bill left me feeling dead, broke, and worthless,” said Juiz Desgurl, a congressional assistant, in a press conference Sunday, who vividly […]

World Jealous of Taliban Prisoner for not Knowing Trump was President

TORONTO – Worldwide showers of envy have rained down on Joshua Boyle, a Canadian-American man recently released along with his family from an isolated five-year imprisonment by the Taliban, for the man’s prolonged ignorance of the political ascendance of Donald Trump. Mr. Boyle was expressed utter shock when, upon his arrival in Toronto, he was […]

Entire Trump Administration Derailed by ‘Perfect’ Late-Night Comedy Joke

NEW YORK – The Trump Administration has come to a crashing halt, with all executive branch offices of the federal government vacated as of 8:00 AM Monday.  The apparent cause of the political thunderbolt was a totally “perfect” joke, delivered in the usual Wednesday evening broadcast of The Daily Show with Trevor Noah by the host, Trevor […]

Trump Administration Condemns Post-2016 Politicizing of Dead Soldiers

WASHINGTON – The Trump Administration is coming down hard on Democrats and journalists whom they accuse of politicizing US soldiers killed in combat, something they insist has not been acceptable since 2016. “It is unacceptable to use our nation’s fallen heroes as political footballs in 2017,” insisted White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. “The […]

University of Virginia Students, Furious at Trump and Republicans, Unsure what to do Instead of Voting on Election Day

CHARLOTTESVILLE: Students at the University of Virginia here in Charlottesville are angry, and with Election Day approaching fast, many are struggling to come up with what to do instead of voting. The students have not forgotten the tumultuous rallies and violence that rocked the small college town in August, killing one protester and wounding many […]

US Secretary of State and North Korea Reach Unprecedented Agreement That Donald Trump is a Fucking Moron

SEOUL/NEW YORK: North Korea and the US State Department stunned the world on Wednesday by reaching a major accord for the first time in years, agreeing that US President Trump is a fucking moron. The agreement, sending warm, hopeful tremors across the Earth, took some time to reach. North Korea began raising eyebrows the past […]

Black Lives Matter Demands Montenegro Change Name

WASHINGTON – Montenegro has surfaced in the news lately, as President Trump appeared to shove the small Balkan nation’s prime minister out of the way in preparation for a photo with other NATO leaders. However, it was the decade-old nation’s name, derived from black mountain in Latin, that drove the ire of Black Lives Matter protesters outside […]