Welcome to the Flat Earth Times

We live in a startling new world. In 2011, the Thirsty Turtle Times began as a proud platform for fake news. Our understanding of this term at the time was news that wasn’t real but told the truth anyway. But there has been an awakening, on the Dark Side of the force. That alignment of words […]

The Thirsty Turtle Times Returns

The Thirsty Turtle Times will return, this year of our lord 2017. In 2011, the Thirsty Turtle Times began publishing what it called “fake news.”  With the graduation of all of its staff from the University of Maryland, the publication stopped printing. When it ran, the Thirsty Turtle Times used fake news for arguably good causes; […]

Welcome to the Thirsty Turtle Times

This  “news agency” will serve the College Park community. It’s brand new. And it’s unlike any you’ve ever seen before. The Thirsty Turtle Times will run substance-free.  We don’t have ‘reporters.’ We don’t have a ‘budget.’  We don’t have ‘paper circulation’ – not because of our low budget, but because we embrace the future.  And […]