WASHINGTON – Every-day supporters of President Trump have grown increasingly agitated by left-wing snowflakes teasing and insulting them. Additionally, they feel quite offended by “hate-marches” designed to hurt the president.
“He’s a sensitive man,” said former Speaker-of-the-House and adamant Trump supporter Newt Gingrich on Fox News Sunday. “They should be more fair to him, and to us,” he finished, voice cracking, before asking for a commercial break and a glass of water.
A small number of the mostly white, working-class, male supporters came out to Washington to counter-protest against left-wing protesters on Pennsylvania Avenue this weekend. And they were very upset.
“They keep screaming and hollering at us!” said Cliff Moyer, a bricklayer from a rural Virginia county, looking highly disgruntled, as the dueling marches chanted at each other. “I’m sick of it! Damn snowflakes!” he added.
“Yeah!” echoed his friend, Brian DeSantis, a fireman in the same county. “It’s… it’s only driving the Trump Train faster!” he insisted.
Left-wing protesters chanted loudly. “Donald Trump, shame on you, refugees are people too!”
“They get offended so easily!” raved Mr. Moyer.
“Hey Hey! Ho! Ho! That racist has got to go!”
“HE’S NOT RACIST!” screamed Mr. Moyer. “They’re so intolerant!”
Some suggest a good deal of Trump’s base support is driven by antagonized social conservatives who feel silenced by progressive activists. Eager to curtail ‘hate-speech,’ the left-wing is, according to Trump’s supporters, employing “hate-marching.”
“There’s peaceful demonstration, which we all have a right to, and then there’s ‘hate-marching,’ which they are doing. It should be illegal!” stammered Mr. DeSantis.
“No cops, no KKK, no fascist USA!” the protesters chanted, outnumbering the small, agitated group of Trump supporters.
“No!” screamed Mr. Moyer. “It’s not FAIR! They’re NOT FAIR to my Trumpy! SNOWFLAKES!”
“They’d better stop this hate-marching. So help me God,” said Mr. DeSantis, shaking with rage, tearing up. The protesters continued chanting, the sounds reverberating off the buildings and echoing throughout the city.
“Impeachment is coming soon, Putin, Trump, get a room!”
“THAT’S IT!” Mr. DeSantis then screamed, before running over to the nearby Gonzaga College High School and demanding he be allowed to cast a ballot for Trump.
“Rigged!” he screamed, running out in tears, when he was denied by the school secretary, Mrs. Peggy Rourdman, as there was no election in which to vote.
“What a snowflake,” she added.
Greg “Snowflake” Gianforte contributed to this report. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
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