WASHINGTON – White House Chief of Staff General John Kelly had a momentary brain fart at a press conference yesterday, forgetting, despite his best efforts, to recall the name, character, and life story of his boss and commander-in-chief, President Donald J. Trump.
“The practice of turning our nations most sacred thing – the fallen men and women who gave everything they had to this country and its ideals – into political pawns, is abhorrent” said White House Chief of Staff General John Kelly, himself the father of a fallen veteran. “No one who hurts a Gold Star family is worthy of these halls, and I hope we don’t let it happen. Let’s just keep that sacred.”
Asked if that stance would disqualify President Trump for political office considering his highly criticized insults of the Gold Star family of deceased US Army Captain Humayun Khan last year, General Kelly furrowed his brow, responding, “Wait… who?”
“Captain Humayun Khan, sir,” repeated the reporter.
“No, I know him. That’s what I’m talking about. Families like his need to continue to be respected like they always have,” continued Kelly.
He focused his criticism on Democratic Congresswoman Frederica Wilson (FL – 23rd) for her comments regarding President Trump’s controversial phone call to the widow of Sgt. La David Johnson, a US army soldier killed in an ambush in Niger this month along with three other American soldiers.
“I can’t believe what some people in this room have done, what that Congresswoman did. Four American soldiers die in an African country stricken by terrorism where they were trying to help, and people are already trying to score political points. It’s disgusting! I can’t believe this has happened for the first and hopefully last time.”
“But General, what about Benghazi?” asked another unnamed reporter in the room. “Wasn’t that politicizing of dead soldiers?”
“What about whatnow?” responded Kelly, looking frustrated. “That’s a city in Libya. The attack was in Niger.”
“But sir, President Trump attacked Hillary Clinton about Bengha–”
“Who? Clinton?” repeated Kelly angrily. “This is what I mean. A former Secretary of State? What would a secretary of state have to do with a military attack in Africa?”
Stunned, reporters were momentarily silenced.
“No more questions? Great. It’s been a long day. I think I have a shift to get to” he said, walking out.
Bob Corker contributed to this report. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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