About

The Flat Earth Times assumes however all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content. All characters appearing in the articles in this website — even those based on real people — are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any persons, living, dead, or undead is purely a miracle.

Property of the Flat Earth Times

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO SAY THE EARTH IS ROUND? YOU EVER GO UP INTO OUTER SPACE?

We live in a startling new world. In 2011, the Thirsty Turtle Times began as a proud platform for fake news. Our understanding of this term at the time was news that wasn’t real but told the truth anyway.

But there has been an awakening, on the Dark Side of the force.

Property of the Flat Earth TimesThat alignment of words and meaning has been washed away by the rising tide of a very malicious kind of fake news. There emerged a movement of lies, lies that masked themselves as truth, designed to galvanize the hateful predispositions within us, into accepting false conclusions. Fake news of late has become, in short, a force of evil.

Where does the Flat Earth Times fit into this? We’re getting to it.

Still bound by the calling and the drive that built it, the Thirsty Turtle Times carried on, a force for positive reinforcement and encouragement to the coalition for reason – a fighting force against crazy people. That battle can no longer be fought only at the university level, or only in one town.

But we will do it right.  We want you to know, when you read our news, that we also think the Earth may be flat.

You want the truth you feel, not the truth you know. The world is flat, and our news is real.

Welcome to the Flat Earth Times!

Join the revolution! Subscribe to our news, follow us @flatearthtimes, and like us on Facebook.

3 thoughts on “About

  1. Hello,

    In a day or two, would it be possible for the @FakeWallaceLoh twitter account operated or associated with your organization to retweet a satirical image featuring Wallace Loh?

    It is a high quality iteration of the Marvel “Avenge the Fallen” posters that have been popular lately. I think your account would be a funny place for you to post it. So, if you’re interested, I can send you the link to the tweet once we post it? And if you decide not to, that’s fine! If you have a representative in the UMD area I can show you the meme beforehand on my phone or something, I just don’t want to leak it early (it’s for an assignment). Let me know if you can discuss!

  2. Why has the news stopped? Has the earth been found to be round? Did the lizard people take over? They say “no news is good news” but I disagree… come back, please

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