Category: Adventures

Swiss Start Slow Clap as Team Korea Blown Out Yet Again

Posted on: February 15, 2018 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Adventures, Sports, World
Tags: Ana Muller, Cool Runnings, Icy Sprints, Japan, Mike Pence, North Korea, PyeongChang2018, Sojung Shin, South Korea, Sweden, Switzerland, Team Korea

♪ “Taste the kimchi, taste the rice! Team Korea, here unites!” ♪ PYEONGCHANG – The united women’s hockey team of North and South Korea was treated to a deeply-sought slow-clap at the 2018 Winter Olympic games in Korea on Wednesday. After losing two straight games 8-0 to Sweden and Switzerland, Team Korea arrived for their final match […]

Report: Boston’s Frozen Floods Part of Deal with Satan for Tom Brady

Posted on: January 8, 2018 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Adventures, Sports, Whether
Tags: Adam Schefter, Bill Belichick, Bob Kraft, Bomb-Cyclone, Boston, Brett Favre, ESPN, Flood, Lucifer, New England Patriots, NFL, Satan, Tom Brady, Winter Storm Grayson

BOSTON: A new report suggests that Winter Storm Grayson, which blanketed the East coast and flooded much of Boston in a surge of seawater, was likely the result of a deal between Bob Kraft, owner of The New England Patriots professional football team, and the devil himself. “This was Satan attempting to collect on his […]

How Charlie Rose’s Real Name And A Botched Circumcision Foreshadowed A Lifetime Of Sexual Misconduct

Posted on: November 22, 2017 by Icarus Ali
Categories: "News", Adventures, Nation
Tags: Charles Peete Ginmore Junior, Charlie Rose, Charlotte Ton, Circumcision, Cujo, Penis, Susanne Summers

The story of Charles Peete Rose Jr., the famed television journalist who was accused Monday of sexual misconduct by eight women in an in-depth expose in the Washington Post, is more complicated than most have ever known. “Charlie always knew he was special,” said a childhood friend, who spoke to Flat Earth News on the […]

Welcome to the Flat Earth Times

Posted on: October 3, 2017 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Adventures, College, Distractions, Messages, Nation, Opinion, Propaganda, Sphere, Sports, Thirsty Turtle Times Historical Archives, World
Tags: Fake News, News all across the Earth, The Flat Earth Times, The Thirsty Turtle Times

We live in a startling new world. In 2011, the Thirsty Turtle Times began as a proud platform for fake news. Our understanding of this term at the time was news that wasn’t real but told the truth anyway. But there has been an awakening, on the Dark Side of the force. That alignment of words […]