Category: Sports

America to Boycott 2018 World Cup in Russia

Posted on: May 8, 2018 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Sports, World
Tags: 2016 US Presidential Election, 2018 World Cup, Boycott, Dave Sarachan, Hotel National Moscow, President Donald Trump, Russia, Team USA, Trinidad

MOSCOW – The greatest tournament in soccer is set to begin in just one months’ time, and the United States will not be attending. The Americans announced they will be […]

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MUELLER MADNESS! Stormy Daniels Continues Cinderella Run

Posted on: April 19, 2018 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Nation, Sports
Tags: ESPN, James Comey, March Madness, Mueller Madness, President, Stormy Daniels

Stormy Daniels on Cinderella Run to End Trump Dynasty Stormy Daniels has continued her unprecedented march toward ending the presidency of Donald J. Trump, as the 14th seed rides toward […]

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Our 2018 Bracket is Ready!

Posted on: March 15, 2018 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Analysis, Nation, Sports
Tags: NCAA Bracket, Trump firings, White House Bracket

It’s happening! Send us your bracket at [email protected] Like us! Follow us on Instagram and Twitter!

Swiss Start Slow Clap as Team Korea Blown Out Yet Again

Posted on: February 15, 2018 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Adventures, Sports, World
Tags: Ana Muller, Cool Runnings, Icy Sprints, Japan, Mike Pence, North Korea, PyeongChang2018, Sojung Shin, South Korea, Sweden, Switzerland, Team Korea

♪ “Taste the kimchi, taste the rice! Team Korea, here unites!” ♪ PYEONGCHANG – The united women’s hockey team of North and South Korea was treated to a deeply-sought slow-clap at the […]

Switzerland Ruins Korean Peace Effort

Posted on: February 11, 2018 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Sports, World
Tags: 2018 Winter Olympics, Alina Muller, Coach Sarah Murray, Cool Runnings, Grand Marshal Kim Jong-un, Jogn Su-hyon, John Candy, North Korea, PyeongChang, Sojung Chin, South Korea, Swiss national hockey team, Switzerland, Team Korea

♪ Some people, you know they can’t believe! ♬ Korea has a unified ho-ckey team! ♪ PYEONGCHANG – Team Korea’s team could be heard singing this tune as they marched […]

Philadelphians Suddenly Not Terrible People Anymore

Posted on: February 6, 2018 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Nation, Sports
Tags: Betty Vaunto, City of Brotherly Love, Constitutional Convention, Eagles, Fly Eagles Fly, Gordon Paselti, Harmon Thomas, Joe Frazier, New England Patriots, Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA – After decades of frightening reports, violent tailgates, and rambunctious viral videos, Philadelphia’s iconic and obnoxious sports fans suddenly and unexpectedly became kind, gracious, professional, intellectual ladies and gentlemen […]

Report: Boston’s Frozen Floods Part of Deal with Satan for Tom Brady

Posted on: January 8, 2018 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Adventures, Sports, Whether
Tags: Adam Schefter, Bill Belichick, Bob Kraft, Bomb-Cyclone, Boston, Brett Favre, ESPN, Flood, Lucifer, New England Patriots, NFL, Satan, Tom Brady, Winter Storm Grayson

BOSTON: A new report suggests that Winter Storm Grayson, which blanketed the East coast and flooded much of Boston in a surge of seawater, was likely the result of a […]

Mississippi and Arkansas Vie For Open “Worst State in the Union” Title

Posted on: December 14, 2017 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Analysis, College, Sports
Tags: Alabama, Arkansas, Barbecue Butter, Chris McDaniel, Doug Jones, Mississippi, Phil Bryant, Roy S. Moore, Walmart Scooter, Worst State

LITTLE ROCK – After a shocking election upset that sent number one seed Alabama home and packing, the people of both Mississippi and Arkansas have found renewed hope for a […]

Kyrie Irving’s Stellar Celtics Debut Proves the Earth is Flat

Posted on: November 28, 2017 by williamwallace
Categories: Analysis, Opinion, Sports
Tags: 16-game winning streak, Bill Nye, Boston Celtics, Fake News, Flat Earth, FlatEarthFact, Gordon Hayward, Kyrie Irving

Kyrie Irving has had an incredible start to the NBA season. Since losing teammate Gordon Hayward to a season-ending injury, Kyrie’s Boston Celtics rocketed to the top of the standings […]

Houston Magically Restored After World Series Win

Posted on: November 6, 2017 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Nation, Sports
Tags: dioxin, Houston Astros, Hurricane Harvey, Magic, Mark Cornin, Miracle, Mr. Clean, University of Texas, World Series

HOUSTON – Reeling for weeks since the catastrophic flooding of Hurricane Harvey, the great city of Houston has been restored to perfect condition, perhaps by the gods, following the World […]