Tag: Democrats
Democrats Buy Pelosi Platinum Gavel After Close Special Election Loss
SAN FRANCISCO – After a narrower-than-expected loss in a special election in Ohio, the Democratic Party has spent their entire second quarter fundraising haul on a platinum gavel for Minority […]
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Scientists Discover Gun Control Opponent With Large Penis
SIOUX FALLS – A team of anthropologists working around the clock have discovered a man who opposes any form of gun control, yet also seems to be well-endowed. They are […]
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Democrats Disguising Guns as Undocumented Immigrants
LOS ANGELES – Democrats in California spent most of Monday disguising various firearms as undocumented immigrants. Hopeful of getting Republicans to finally approve some forms of reasonable gun control measures […]
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Barrage of Instagram Posts from Manhattan Women’s March Successfully Convert Red States into Blue States.
NEW YORK – Millions of registered voters who cast their ballots for now-President Trump and congressional Republicans across rural America expressed complete reversals in their political ideologies over the weekend, […]
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Magical Curse Forbids Republican Politicians From Endorsing Democrats
BIRMINGHAM – Scientists and religious experts today discovered a magical curse that appears to prevent Republican politicians from endorsing Democrats in American elections. “This was an extraordinary discovery of deductive […]
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Why Are the Republicans Russiang This Tax Bill?
Questions remain over the tax overhaul Republicans are currently trying to conference into one passable bill – namely, why are they Russiang the bill through Congress so quickly? Democrats allege […]
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Republicans Propose Orchestrating Neutron Star Collision to Pay for Tax Cuts
CAPE CANAVERAL – Republican leaders in Congress have unveiled a bill to orchestrate a massive neutron star collision next to Earth, hoping to create an enormous supply of gold to […]
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University of Virginia Students, Furious at Trump and Republicans, Unsure what to do Instead of Voting on Election Day
CHARLOTTESVILLE: Students at the University of Virginia here in Charlottesville are angry, and with Election Day approaching fast, many are struggling to come up with what to do instead of […]
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