Property of the Flat Earth Times

Jeb Bush Sad not to Receive Any Pipe Bombs in the Mail

MIAMI – Former Governor of Florida and 2016 U.S. Presidential candidate Jeb Bush peered into his mailbox today, only for his hopes to dissipate once again. He received no crudely-made […]

Property of the Flat Earth Times

Jeb Bush Beats Up Local Bully

MIAMI – Jeb Bush had to be pulled off of a 12-year-old boy yesterday, having beaten the young child beyond submission in a counter-bullying incident. “AT-LEAST-MY-CHILDREN-LOVE-ME!” screamed the former Governor […]

Property of the Flat Earth Times

Jeb Bush Successfully Corrects Order at Pancake House

MIAMI – Jeb Bush overcame some terrific inner demons today when he challenged a restaurant server to fix a mistaken order at a local pancake restaurant. “What? Who?” asked a […]