Property of the Flat Earth Times

Baby-Boomer Democrats Hold Candlelight Vigil for Joe Biden’s Reputation

SCRANTON – Democratic voters roughly ranging in age from 56 to 73 gathered outside Lackawanna Courthouse Thursday night for a vigil in honor of former Vice President Joe Biden’s personal reputation and integrity. “DAMN PROGRESSIVE MILLENNIALS!” ranted Harry Gitmore, 67, a belt sander.  “Whado they care about that stupid Green New Deal and pound-sign-Me-Too stuff […]

Suburban Liberal Completes 2018 Activism By Putting Sign on Her Lawn

MONTCLAIR, NEW JERSEY – In this affluent suburb of New York City, Karen Philipelli is ready for the 2018 midterms. “This isn’t my first rodeo,” smirked Mrs. Philipeli, looking at her new “HATE HAS NO HOME HERE” sign, then glancing at the ‘Hillary/Kaine ‘16’ sticker in the glass pane of her large oak door. “Donald […]