Tag: Republicans

Democrats Disguising Guns as Undocumented Immigrants

Posted on: February 20, 2018 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Nation
Tags: California, Democrats, Firearms, Guns, illegals!, Kamala Harris, Republicans, Skittles, Undocumented Immigrants

LOS ANGELES – Democrats in California spent most of Monday disguising various firearms as undocumented immigrants. Hopeful of getting Republicans to finally approve some forms of reasonable gun control measures […]

Barrage of Instagram Posts from Manhattan Women’s March Successfully Convert Red States into Blue States.

Posted on: January 22, 2018 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Nation, Propaganda
Tags: Blue States, California, Democrats, Manhattan, MyBody, New York, Red States, Republicans, resistance, Town Stages Studio, Women's March

NEW YORK – Millions of registered voters who cast their ballots for now-President Trump and congressional Republicans across rural America expressed complete reversals in their political ideologies over the weekend, […]

Republican Leaders Elated To Receive Coal From Santa

Posted on: December 25, 2017 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Nation
Tags: Christmas, Coal, North Pole, President Trump, Republicans, Santa Claus, Violent Revolution, West Virginia, Xi Jingping

CHARLESTON – Republican leaders around the country were ecstatic Christmas morning to receive coal from Santa. “Another promise, another victory,” declared President Trump at the White House. “Bring back coal? […]

Future Taxpayers Send #MeToo Messages Back in Time

Posted on: December 21, 2017 by williamwallace
Categories: "News", Nation, World
Tags: #MeToo, Bernese Sanders Mountain Raiders, Bitcoin, Empasynthesizing, Facebook, Future taxpayers, Republicans, Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, Time Rapists

TWENTY-SEVENTEEN: The future arrived in furious fashion in Washington today, after passage of the “Tax Cuts and Jobs Act” by Republican-controlled Congress. Future American taxpayers used social media posts, postcards, […]

Magical Curse Forbids Republican Politicians From Endorsing Democrats

Posted on: December 12, 2017 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Nation
Tags: #ReaganCurse, Bhutan, Condoleezza Rice, Democrats, Doug Jones, Jigme Singye Wangchuck, Magic Curse, Neil Gordon, Ouija, Racist Rapists, Republicans, Ronald Reagan, Roy Moore, University of Alabama

BIRMINGHAM – Scientists and religious experts today discovered a magical curse that appears to prevent Republican politicians from endorsing Democrats in American elections. “This was an extraordinary discovery of deductive […]

Why Are the Republicans Russiang This Tax Bill?

Posted on: December 5, 2017 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Nation
Tags: Bill Mueller, Cross the Rubicon, Democrats, Fiscolillusion, Flynng, General Michael Flynn, hammer and sickle, Lenin, Moscow, Putin, Republicans, Revolution of 17, Russia, Russian puns, Russiang, Soviet, Stalin, tsarting

Questions remain over the tax overhaul Republicans are currently trying to conference into one passable bill – namely, why are they Russiang the bill through Congress so quickly? Democrats allege […]

Senate Tax Cut Plan Accused of Sexual Assault

Posted on: November 20, 2017 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Nation
Tags: Congress, Fay Keperzon, House, Juiz Desgurl, MONSTER, Notta Riyu Naimu, President, Republicans, Senate, Sexual Assault, Tax Overhaul Plan

WASHINGTON – The Republicans’ tax overhaul plan was accused this weekend of sexual assault by several different women, the culmination of a growing wave of sexual assault revelations in both […]

Republicans Unable to Decide Between Tax Cuts for Millionaires, Basic Integrity

Posted on: November 13, 2017 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Nation
Tags: Alabama, Basic Integrity, Fox News, GOP, Republicans, Roy Moore, Tax Cuts for Millionaires

WASHINGTON – As Republican Judge Roy Moore plows on through accusations of molesting teenage girls in the Alabama special Senate Election, Republicans nationally are flummoxed. Republicans are weighing their options […]

NJ and VA Republicans Send Thoughts and Prayers to Ballot Boxes

Posted on: November 9, 2017 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Nation
Tags: #thoughtsandprayers, 2018, Ed Gillespie, GOP, Kim Guadagno, New Jersey, Republicans, Richmond, Thoughts and Prayers, Virginia, Woodbridge

RICHMOND – Republican voters in New Jersey and Virginia sent thoughts and prayers (#ThoughtsAndPrayers) to their voting precincts on Tuesday, hoping to hold off a wave of Democrats eager to […]

Republicans Propose Orchestrating Neutron Star Collision to Pay for Tax Cuts

Posted on: October 19, 2017 by Flat Earth Times News Desk
Categories: "News", Nation, World
Tags: Cape Canaveral, Democrats, Dr. Ellen Stofa, Morgan Freeman, NASA, Neutron Star Collision, Republicans, tax cuts for the wealthy

CAPE CANAVERAL – Republican leaders in Congress have unveiled a bill to orchestrate a massive neutron star collision next to Earth, hoping to create an enormous supply of gold to […]