Students Eat Feces, Talk of Firing Edsall at Campus Farm

It was a spectacle like no other. Last night, reporters at the University of Maryland Campus farm on Paint Branch Drive documented a feast encompassing over 1000 students, but they weren’t eating turkey. They were eating shit. Pig shit, to be exact.

FAKE WALLACE LOH: Vote Loh & Lee 2012

So I guess this is what happens when you make a drinking game out of a Republican Presidential Primary. Yes, of course I am running for President! As a fake personality very loosely based on a poorly understood, low-level foreign politician, I know that I am the most serious Republican candidate.

Welcome to the Thirsty Turtle Times

This  “news agency” will serve the College Park community. It’s brand new. And it’s unlike any you’ve ever seen before. The Thirsty Turtle Times will run substance-free.  We don’t have ‘reporters.’ We don’t have a ‘budget.’  We don’t have ‘paper circulation’ – not because of our low budget, but because we embrace the future.  And […]