Tag: UMD

China Disowns UMD President Wallace Loh for Taiwan Visit

Posted on: June 13, 2012 by thirstyturtletimes
Categories: College, Thirsty Turtle Times Historical Archives, World
Tags: Beijing, China, Kim Jong-un, Martin Monitz, Martin O'Malley, People's Republic of China, Republic of China, Taipei, Taiwan, The Diamondback, UMD, Wallace Loh, Yang Jiechi

BEIJING – University of Maryland President Wallace D. Loh has been internationally rebuked for his current trip to the Republic of China, better known as Taiwan. Dr. Loh left for Taiwan […]

UMD President Wallace Loh Suggests Students Swim in their Private Pools

Posted on: March 1, 2012 by thirstyturtletimes
Categories: College, Thirsty Turtle Times Historical Archives
Tags: $7.2 Million Mansion, Brioche, Dr. Wallace D. Loh, French, Let them eat Cake, Marie Antoinette, Olivier Rabourdin, Presidential Mansion, RL, Taken, UMD

Wallace Loh has responded after an angry mob of students descended upon his temporary residence today, demanding answers over the school’s proposal to build a $7.2 million dollar president’s mansion […]

UMD Authorizes Open Fire on Students Drinking Underage

Posted on: September 7, 2011 by thirstyturtletimes
Categories: "News", Thirsty Turtle Times Historical Archives
Tags: Baltimore Sun, College Park, Cop Humor, David Mitchell, Fascism, Marc Limansky, Martin O'Malley, Minor, Open Fire, Police Chief, Public Safety, Shoot to Kill, The Diamondback, Town Hall Bar, UMD, UMDPD, UMPD, Underage Drinking, University of Maryland, Wallace Loh, Washington Post

COLLEGE PARK – Fresh from a $30,000 grant from Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley’s office to combat underage drinking, the University of Maryland Police Department announced today that it has been […]

Jimmy John’s Apologizes for Delivery Mishap

Posted on: September 3, 2011 by thirstyturtletimes
Categories: "News", Thirsty Turtle Times Historical Archives
Tags: College Park, Hurricane Irene, Jimmy John's, Matt Wampler, Sam Preer, UMD

Jimmy John’s Sandwiches, located in downtown College Park, Maryland, issued a public apology this week for a delivery mishap that occurred during Hurricane Irene. The hurricane swept through College Park […]

University President Makes Surprise North Korea Visit During Trip to Asia

Posted on: June 17, 2011 by thirstyturtletimes
Categories: "News", College, Thirsty Turtle Times Historical Archives
Tags: Beijing, Dr. Loh, Dr. Wallace D. Loh, Dr. Wallace Loh, Governor O'Malley, KCNA, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un, Loh, Martin O'Malley, Maryland, North Korea, President Loh, President Wallace Loh, UMD, University of Maryland, Wallace D. Loh, Wallace Loh, Yonhap

University of Maryland President Wallace Loh returned last week from what he termed a “very productive” trip to the Asian continent. President Loh left for China alongside a Maryland delegation, […]

Welcome to the Thirsty Turtle Times

Posted on: June 17, 2011 by thirstyturtletimes
Categories: Thirsty Turtle Times Historical Archives
Tags: Boobpedia, College Park, fakewallaceloh, First Post, Maryland, Roosevelt, Teddy, Teddy Roosevelt, Terps, The Thirsty Turtle Times, Theodore Roosevelt, Thirsty Turtle, UM, UMCP, UMD, UMDCP, Uncyclopedia, University of Maryland, Welcome

This  “news agency” will serve the College Park community. It’s brand new. And it’s unlike any you’ve ever seen before. The Thirsty Turtle Times will run substance-free.  We don’t have […]